tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It's shark week go big or go home
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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