I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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