She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
