Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
