I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
