How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
