All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
