So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
