Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
