love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
