I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
