just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
