gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
