what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
