im about as happy as oj after his trial
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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