I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
