I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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