And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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