Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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