and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
