just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Fuck appropriateness.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
