I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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