Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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