do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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