i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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