i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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