Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
