6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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