It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
