Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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