I cannot find my penis.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
