somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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