Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
