just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
