So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
