genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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