I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
