Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
