is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize
