i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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