I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
