It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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