is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
