watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
