Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
