just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
