Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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