Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
