Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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