So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
